


Reiner and Bertholdt Walk You Home

by nerdelation8



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Bertolt Hoover Is A Good Friend, Cadets, Consent, Crushes, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, Embarrassment, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hangover, He refuses to take advantage of you, Humor, Marco is mentioned - Freeform, No Sex, Reiner Braun Is A Good Friend, Second-Hand Embarrassment, The 104th - Freeform, There Is No Drinking Age on Paradis, You get so drunk you think Bertholdt is Marco, You have a crush on Marco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25663261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdelation8/pseuds/nerdelation8
Summary: After your first time getting really drunk, Reiner and Bertholdt walk you home from the bar.  When you get there, you mistake Bertholdt for Marco, and he has to fend off your inebriated advances.Just some fluff, but I rated it Mature because of all the drunkenness.
Relationships: (a past crush), Bertolt Hoover/Reader, Marco Bott/Reader, Reiner Braun/Reader
Kudos: 104





	Reiner and Bertholdt Walk You Home

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place a few months after the Battle of Trost. It's before the main season 2 reveal.

You fade in and out of consciousness. As you walk, you feel yourself being propped up by two people. 

“She can sleep back there on the couch." 

It's a male voice.

Bertholdt nods to Reiner, helping to hold you up as he walks you there. 

“I can’t believe she got so drunk,” the rugged blond comments. “Wow.”

“She never drinks at all,” Bert replies. He seems surprised too.

The two men gently set you on the sofa. They step away. 

You open your eyes and your vision swims. Above you is a lanky human with dark hair. You mumble “M-Marco...”

Standing behind Bert, Reiner’s eyes flicker with alarm. His mouth opens slightly as the hairs on his neck stand up. Bertholdt notices. He coolly puts a hand on his friend's shoulder, trying to caution the blond before he says anything.

“Marco...mmmph...I know... _I know...”_

Panic flares in Reiner’s eyes. Bertholdt looks back at you, and his expression grows frightened under your tipsy gaze.

Your hand grazes his warm face. You smile.

“... _I know_ you don’t like me that way, Marco...oh, but that dark hair...mmmmh...you’re so cute...and sweet...oh, the things I'd _do_ to you...”

Bertholdt gently moves your hand away as if he's afraid to touch you. You giggle.

His olive complexion turns pink.

 _Thank god,_ Bert realizes, _she didn’t mean what I thought she meant. She doesn’t know our secret. She doesn't know Reiner and I killed Marco!_

He lays you on the couch and steps back. Reiner’s edge melts away and he begins to chuckle.

“Heh. She thinks you’re _Marco,_ dude.”

Bertholdt says your name. He tells you softly, “I’m not Marco.”

“Mmmwhat?” you reply, trying to focus on the dark-haired man before you.

“You’re drunk,” Reiner states with jovial amusement.

“I’m Bertholdt,” the tall one tells you, leaning in almost apologetically. “And Marco’s...”. He doesn’t finish.

“Ohhh,” you say, then your face falls. "Thassright." You attempt to reach for him and hug him, but are too weak to manage it. “I’m sorry, Bert. I’m just...really drunk…”

“It’s okay,” he replies, smiling shyly.

You suddenly notice the blond next to him. “Is that Reiner?”

“Yeah,” the blond says with a chuckle. 

"Hey, Reiner," you say.

Then you reach for his friend.

“C’mere, Bert,” you say. Your arms invite him. “Cuddle with me!”

The lanky man pauses for just a moment, then shakes his head. “Sorry. I shouldn’t.”

Reiner jokes, “Aww, no love for me? Are you saying _Bert’s_ the cute one?”

“You’re cute too,” you grin. “Rugged cute, like a big ol' lumberjack…I wouldn’t mind if you took your shirt off. Or even your pants…” You giggle. 

They give each other a look. Reiner scratches the back of his neck.

“Hmm…” you muse out loud. “I bet Bert’s is _gigantic._ Cuzzzz he’s ssso tall...Oh...sorry guys, I probably shouldn’ta said that...”

The two men start chuckling.

You become irritated at the lack of attention. “Cuddle me, dammit!”

“No can do, babe,” says the stocky blond. “You’ve had waaay too many. Bert, get her some water.”

“Awww,” you say with drunken petulance. “But I want _cuddles._ And I wanna see your...”

“Drink this water, then you gotta sleep,” Bert says. 

“...Pecs,” you finish.

They place a pillow under you and toss a blanket over you as you lie on the couch. Bertholdt puts a large saucepan nearby. 

“In case you...uh...barf,” he says. 

“Berrrrrt...you sure you don’t wanna cuddle with me?” you say plaintively.

“Goodnight,” your friend replies.

“Have fun sobering up tomorrow,” says Reiner. 

* * * * *  
The next morning, you woke up disoriented and with a horrible headache. 

“Ughhhhh…”

You pushed back the blanket and stared at the ceiling.

"Wait…this isn’t my place!”

You could smell bacon and hash browns. Scrambled eggs. And you realized where you were.

You were at Bert’s house, the one his dad apparently bought for him despite living very far away. 

And Bertholdt himself was suddenly looking down at you.

“Aggh!” you cried out, clutching the blanket close. “You scared me!”

“I’m sorry.”

“How do you feel?”

“My head hurts…Wait!” you said, suddenly embarrassed. The gears were spinning in your mind.

_I’m waking up in his house, with blankets on._

“I slept here? Um…did we, uh…?”

You felt like crawling into a hole.

“N-No, no!” Bert said, throwing his hands out and perspiring. “Nothing like that. You were REALLY drunk, and seemed to have lost your friends, so Reiner and I brought you here to sleep on my couch.”

“Oh,” you replied. You didn't know how to feel about that.

You realized you still wearing last night's grody clothes. 

“Here’s more water,” Bert said shyly.

You lifted the cup to your lips and began drinking the whole thing. 

Reiner left the kitchen. “It wouldn’t be right to bang someone as totally out of it as you were.” He paused, then grinned. “Do you remember calling Bert _Marco?”_

Embarrassment surged through you. You nearly spat out your water. “Oh, Sweet Ymir...that’s embarrassing...”

“You didn’t have to tell her that,” Bertholdt said to Reiner, a sorrowful look coming into his eyes. “I’d rather not talk about him...”

“What?” said the blond.

“I miss him too," you admitted. "And uh…y-yeah, about that…” you said, covering your face with your blankets. If you’d thought Bert was Marco, you might have tried to kiss him or something. In the months since the dark-haired freckle boy had died, you'd had frequent dreams about him. “Sorry if I acted super cringey last night. I’ve only ever been drunk one other time. And it wasn’t THIS bad.”

“No worries. Hey, Bert’s had to carry _me_ out of bars on leave, too. Just, you know, be careful. You being a girl and stuff.”

“It’s a good thing we were with you,” said Bert. “Where were Annie and Hitch? Someone could have...well...taken advantage of you if we weren’t there to walk you home.”

“You don't wanna run into the Stohess Ripper,” Reiner said seriously. 

“Isn’t he in jail right now?” you said. 

“Actually, you’re right,” Bertholdt said. “I read in the news he’s gonna get the firing squad on Tuesday...but _still."_

“There’s other folks like him,” Reiner replied.

You wanted to tell them they sounded like your parents, and that you didn’t need a scolding, but you knew they were right. What if some creepy guy had tried to hurt you while you were drunk? 

“Yeah,” you admitted, realizing how vulnerable you’d been last night. “I shouldn’t’ve gotten that drunk. Or I should’ve made sure Annie and Hitch were still with me. Jeez, where did they go? Thank you guys for taking me here and not, like, creeping on me or anything.”

_Not that I’d mind Bertholdt kissing me. He's actually kinda cute. Why didn't I notice it before?_

You were grateful he'd respected you, though. 

Bertholdt looked very embarrassed. He was trying to hide it, but you could tell he was uncomfortable. 

_Hopefully he doesn't hold whatever weird stuff I said against me._

“Anyway, not to, like, lecture you or anything,” Reiner said. “We’re just saying.”

His lanky friend nodded shyly. 

“Thanks,” you said again, then immediately groaned at a fresh wave of pain from your hangover. Once again, you noticed the savory scent of breakfast. “Hey, can I have some eggs and bacon?”

“Of course,” said Reiner. 

“Reiner doesn’t look it, but he’s a damn good cook,” Bertholdt chuckled. 

“Awesome!” you said. The two men got you a plate of food and all sat down to eat. 

You felt a sudden wave of nausea. You asked where the bathroom was and ran to it, ready to evacuate your stomach. 

“S-Sorry,” you choked out as you came back. 

“It’s all good,” said Reiner. 

“Thanks for not ralphing on my floor,” said Bert.

“Hey,” said Reiner, “Wanna hear the dumbest thing I ever did drunk?”

You laughed. “That time last April, right? I heard about that! You peed in the King’s Fountain, escaped two members of the Military Police, then lay down in a store and took a nap on the loaves of bread!”

“Shadis was pissed,” Bertholdt laughed. “I *warned* you not to pee outside, man! Things are different in Wall Sina!”

You said, “Of all the places to do something so stupid – _Stohess?!”_

“I was on latrine duty for SO long after that,” Reiner grinned.

“Shadis said, ’If you weren’t our second-strongest candidate, I’d kick you right out on your sorry, Titan-lovin' ass!’” Bertholdt roared.

Everyone laughed.

"Jeez, _that_ would've put a wrench in things," Reiner remarked, grinning at Bertholdt.

You looked at the brunet too. _Bert's a lot more outgoing when he's not in a large group,_ you thought. _And with that big smile on his face...he's kind of adorable._

“Auugh,” you winced after all the vigorous laughter. “Now my head's worse.”

You ate breakfast at Bert’s house, took some aspirin, talked with your friends for a bit, and headed home. You regretted getting as drunk as you had the night before, but were glad that your friends had been so considerate.

You, Reiner, and Bertholdt grew a little closer that day.


End file.
